Beautiful piece, Malavika. You know it resonates with me, right? I love this idea of performing. Very powerful. It is indeed what we do, even unconsciously. A while ago the saying used to be “just be yourself”. But today that same simple idea has been further refined (and sugar-coated). The point, though, is always the same: be true to who you are. And I would add: even if you don’t know it. Even if you can’t articulate it. Just let it surface naturally. Easier said than done, in today’s world. But still, if there’s one thing, to me, that we should make an effort on, it’s making the audience that we perform to an audiece of one. Ourselves.
Haha, funnily, I could've guessed that it resonates with you Silvio! <3 I thought about whether this was controversial waters to wade into as I wrote. But then it took me so much self-compassion and self-understanding too to write it. Thank you for stopping by to comment - you know I never say it means a lot, but it really does mean so much to me when you share something thoughtful.
For me, 'be true to who you are' was tough advice, although it captured the element of performance. Because, like with "be yourself", I could never answer who I am! I never knew, beyond the basic stuff like "I prefer picnics on the grass to drinks at the bar" type stuff. I'm still making it up as I go along. It's almost surprising when I discover some new part of myself these days, in writing with you all or speaking to new people.
I like this idea of living for an audience of one - ourselves. For me, though, my being feels so constituted by the people I love and the life I've lived... (and how can we really know what parts of us are nature and what parts of us are nurture??) So I can't be sure if I'm performing for the community that nurtures me, or if I'm being me inherently.
I've been trying to track when I feel like me, my full embodied self. Does it feel like home? Is it a physiologically identifiable sensation of safety? Still tracking, still observing, still listening, still making it up as I go along. :)
See? That's what I mean when I say the community aspect of this whole thing is where real value gets created. I love when we can exchange ideas and thoughts and life recipes below our pieces. :)
I've never been able to articulate who I am, and after a while I even stopped trying. I am who I am, and if it doesn't surface spontaneously, well, that's too bad. If you want to know who I am, then try me. That's the most honest and reliable answer I could give. We live in this world where we need to define everything, we need to define who we are as they say it's important to know and the sooner you get a grasp of that, the better off we'll be in our journeys. I don't agree with that. I'm perfectly content with not being able to spit out a "definition of me", upon request. This doesn't mean that I don't know who I am. And looked from the other side, I'm not sure that knowing a definition of someone would help out my getting to know them. One of the most exciting and human things is getting to know people by interacting with them. And, by reflection, by paying attention to what they give us, what they leave behind. Identity is a tricky and complex theme; certainly not something to discuss in just a few words or over drinks at a party. But then again, what if we decided it's not that important? What if we just lived our existence not caring about getting ourselves into a box or being liked? That's hard, especially in this social media driven society. I love your reflection about you trying to track when you feel like you, your full embodied self. This is something I've been trying to identify for so long: what does it feel like? Maybe (just maybe) it just feels like a sort of relaxation of the soul, of the spirit. Something you can only perceive in a fraction of a second. Maybe it has to do with happiness itself. I don't know. Hard to conceptualize. What I do know is that I feel good when I'm my most transparent self, with no need to force anything or emphasize anything. I could on ranting about this forever, but (for your mental sanity) I'll stop here. :)
Thank you for always stimulating such interesting thoughts!
Provocative thoughts on individuality, authenticity, and performance Malavika. Loved the exchanges below between you and Silvio and my thinking and experience are along the same lines. As a real life performer, the notion of changing audiences as a method of self-discovery is particularly resonant. We should all find friends who make us feel good about who we get to be when we're with them. At the same time, being around people we don't resonate with is equally useful for discovering who we do and don't want to be. I've never owned anything with a Michael Kors label on it, but maybe I should go hang out in one his stores and make a friend there, just to see what I'd discover.
Malavika, you said it dude. Man, our tastes and desires are influenced by the company we keep. No matter how much we try and absolve ourselves of it, we can't. You've worded it very well.
I loved the reference to the Bangalore man wearing a floral shirt on Sundays. I must confess to owning one such shirt!
Beautiful piece, Malavika. You know it resonates with me, right? I love this idea of performing. Very powerful. It is indeed what we do, even unconsciously. A while ago the saying used to be “just be yourself”. But today that same simple idea has been further refined (and sugar-coated). The point, though, is always the same: be true to who you are. And I would add: even if you don’t know it. Even if you can’t articulate it. Just let it surface naturally. Easier said than done, in today’s world. But still, if there’s one thing, to me, that we should make an effort on, it’s making the audience that we perform to an audiece of one. Ourselves.
Haha, funnily, I could've guessed that it resonates with you Silvio! <3 I thought about whether this was controversial waters to wade into as I wrote. But then it took me so much self-compassion and self-understanding too to write it. Thank you for stopping by to comment - you know I never say it means a lot, but it really does mean so much to me when you share something thoughtful.
For me, 'be true to who you are' was tough advice, although it captured the element of performance. Because, like with "be yourself", I could never answer who I am! I never knew, beyond the basic stuff like "I prefer picnics on the grass to drinks at the bar" type stuff. I'm still making it up as I go along. It's almost surprising when I discover some new part of myself these days, in writing with you all or speaking to new people.
I like this idea of living for an audience of one - ourselves. For me, though, my being feels so constituted by the people I love and the life I've lived... (and how can we really know what parts of us are nature and what parts of us are nurture??) So I can't be sure if I'm performing for the community that nurtures me, or if I'm being me inherently.
I've been trying to track when I feel like me, my full embodied self. Does it feel like home? Is it a physiologically identifiable sensation of safety? Still tracking, still observing, still listening, still making it up as I go along. :)
See? That's what I mean when I say the community aspect of this whole thing is where real value gets created. I love when we can exchange ideas and thoughts and life recipes below our pieces. :)
I've never been able to articulate who I am, and after a while I even stopped trying. I am who I am, and if it doesn't surface spontaneously, well, that's too bad. If you want to know who I am, then try me. That's the most honest and reliable answer I could give. We live in this world where we need to define everything, we need to define who we are as they say it's important to know and the sooner you get a grasp of that, the better off we'll be in our journeys. I don't agree with that. I'm perfectly content with not being able to spit out a "definition of me", upon request. This doesn't mean that I don't know who I am. And looked from the other side, I'm not sure that knowing a definition of someone would help out my getting to know them. One of the most exciting and human things is getting to know people by interacting with them. And, by reflection, by paying attention to what they give us, what they leave behind. Identity is a tricky and complex theme; certainly not something to discuss in just a few words or over drinks at a party. But then again, what if we decided it's not that important? What if we just lived our existence not caring about getting ourselves into a box or being liked? That's hard, especially in this social media driven society. I love your reflection about you trying to track when you feel like you, your full embodied self. This is something I've been trying to identify for so long: what does it feel like? Maybe (just maybe) it just feels like a sort of relaxation of the soul, of the spirit. Something you can only perceive in a fraction of a second. Maybe it has to do with happiness itself. I don't know. Hard to conceptualize. What I do know is that I feel good when I'm my most transparent self, with no need to force anything or emphasize anything. I could on ranting about this forever, but (for your mental sanity) I'll stop here. :)
Thank you for always stimulating such interesting thoughts!
Move over, Michael Kors! Malavika is in town!
Hahahha not at all. Mostly because Michael Kors was never... in my town?? It's one of those foreign fascinations for folks here. :)
Provocative thoughts on individuality, authenticity, and performance Malavika. Loved the exchanges below between you and Silvio and my thinking and experience are along the same lines. As a real life performer, the notion of changing audiences as a method of self-discovery is particularly resonant. We should all find friends who make us feel good about who we get to be when we're with them. At the same time, being around people we don't resonate with is equally useful for discovering who we do and don't want to be. I've never owned anything with a Michael Kors label on it, but maybe I should go hang out in one his stores and make a friend there, just to see what I'd discover.
Malavika, you said it dude. Man, our tastes and desires are influenced by the company we keep. No matter how much we try and absolve ourselves of it, we can't. You've worded it very well.
I loved the reference to the Bangalore man wearing a floral shirt on Sundays. I must confess to owning one such shirt!