So interesting to read this perspective, Malavika. As I always tend to spontaneously think of everyone, everywhere, being on the same boat. But now that you make me pay attention, I can see what you mean. We do live in a West centric world, with all its limitations and pitfalls. Europe itself has been at the mercy of the US since the end of WWII and this is something that is not even evident to everyone here. Behaviors, social postures, and values are highly affected by this, not only the economy. But I also see a trend toward a progressive appreciation of the East getting traction. I heard today, for example, that Apple has decided to open its first store in India. I didn't even know they didn't have a store in India; that's crazy. Thank you for writing this very insightful piece!
This resonates so deeply for me. Prove Yourself Energy exactly describes it. And this paragraph is like having someone reading my mind. "In this contorted tangle of emotions and thoughts, I feel like I am less, but I don’t try to be more. I yearn to be chosen, but without trying hard enough to be seen. I long for friendship, but do not invest deeply enough to invite connection. A recipe from hell to be isolating and isolated." Perhaps many of us who are diving into the public writing pool are using it in the same way as you, adding authenticity to that PYE and hoping to transform it into real relationship and fulfilling connection. Your efforts are working on this side Malavika. Totally appreciate the things you share.
This is such a deep essay, Malavika. "Prove yourself energy" - that phrase is going to stick with me.
I feel so "seen", discovering parts of my behaviour that I brushed over all my life. It took me a very long time to come to terms with AND.
The West-centric life assumes it is better than, shoving jeans and Pepsi and English across the globe. When you find yourself paying 7GBP for a tumeric latte, you realize that maybe, just maybe, we can be the best of all cultures - old and new - combined.
At first I thought this was a version of imposter syndrome, but your description of the conference visas reminds me that is yet another hurdle above that.
This was a gorgeous essay. I had to reread it a few times because I enjoyed it so much and I’m gonna be coming back to reread it again because I really loved what you expressed here.
I was recently thinking I hadn’t seen your writing hit my inbox in a moment. Lovely to be gifted this.
I loved this essay and your reflection here Malavika! The phrase "prove yourself energy" is so good. I've been there and related to so much of your piece. And it's so easy to lose perspective of other people's experiences when I'm so focused on my own, or even if I am trying to be aware of it, you can never truly step into someone's shoes. You've made me so much more aware though of all the little things that can't be seen but can be felt in the tensions between our countries and cultures.
"In this contorted tangle of emotions and thoughts, I feel like I am less, but I don’t try to be more. I yearn to be chosen, but without trying hard enough to be seen. I long for friendship, but do not invest deeply enough to invite connection. A recipe from hell to be isolating and isolated."
You captured this feeling so well! Funny how it can exist without us even noticing it. I want to be more aware of my own "prove yourself energy" and see where it pops up!
I love the phrase and the insights! My husband is Honduran and came to the US on scholarship -- he has expressed many of the same thoughts and feelings.
So interesting to read this perspective, Malavika. As I always tend to spontaneously think of everyone, everywhere, being on the same boat. But now that you make me pay attention, I can see what you mean. We do live in a West centric world, with all its limitations and pitfalls. Europe itself has been at the mercy of the US since the end of WWII and this is something that is not even evident to everyone here. Behaviors, social postures, and values are highly affected by this, not only the economy. But I also see a trend toward a progressive appreciation of the East getting traction. I heard today, for example, that Apple has decided to open its first store in India. I didn't even know they didn't have a store in India; that's crazy. Thank you for writing this very insightful piece!
This resonates so deeply for me. Prove Yourself Energy exactly describes it. And this paragraph is like having someone reading my mind. "In this contorted tangle of emotions and thoughts, I feel like I am less, but I don’t try to be more. I yearn to be chosen, but without trying hard enough to be seen. I long for friendship, but do not invest deeply enough to invite connection. A recipe from hell to be isolating and isolated." Perhaps many of us who are diving into the public writing pool are using it in the same way as you, adding authenticity to that PYE and hoping to transform it into real relationship and fulfilling connection. Your efforts are working on this side Malavika. Totally appreciate the things you share.
This is such a deep essay, Malavika. "Prove yourself energy" - that phrase is going to stick with me.
I feel so "seen", discovering parts of my behaviour that I brushed over all my life. It took me a very long time to come to terms with AND.
The West-centric life assumes it is better than, shoving jeans and Pepsi and English across the globe. When you find yourself paying 7GBP for a tumeric latte, you realize that maybe, just maybe, we can be the best of all cultures - old and new - combined.
At first I thought this was a version of imposter syndrome, but your description of the conference visas reminds me that is yet another hurdle above that.
"But Prove Yourself Energy is the destructive and debilitative version of that desire."
💯 agree! I tell employees: "You're already great. There's nothing left for you to prove. Not to us, to you, or to anyone else on the team."
Malavika!!
This was a gorgeous essay. I had to reread it a few times because I enjoyed it so much and I’m gonna be coming back to reread it again because I really loved what you expressed here.
I was recently thinking I hadn’t seen your writing hit my inbox in a moment. Lovely to be gifted this.
I loved this essay and your reflection here Malavika! The phrase "prove yourself energy" is so good. I've been there and related to so much of your piece. And it's so easy to lose perspective of other people's experiences when I'm so focused on my own, or even if I am trying to be aware of it, you can never truly step into someone's shoes. You've made me so much more aware though of all the little things that can't be seen but can be felt in the tensions between our countries and cultures.
"In this contorted tangle of emotions and thoughts, I feel like I am less, but I don’t try to be more. I yearn to be chosen, but without trying hard enough to be seen. I long for friendship, but do not invest deeply enough to invite connection. A recipe from hell to be isolating and isolated."
You captured this feeling so well! Funny how it can exist without us even noticing it. I want to be more aware of my own "prove yourself energy" and see where it pops up!
such stunning, beautiful writing ❤️ thank you for letting me into your world and sharing what its like to be you
I love the phrase and the insights! My husband is Honduran and came to the US on scholarship -- he has expressed many of the same thoughts and feelings.