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"What if the opposite were true?"

This such a powerful pattern interrupt to keep the assumption making machine in check.

You're so good at sharing ideas like this in the form of real life stories, which allows their value to leap the divide between your experience and the possibility of me actually making use of it in a real life situation of my own.

Thanks Malavika.

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Thank you Rick, I appreciate the term "pattern interrupt" -- it's powerful. It appears this is the first time I am encountering that word, though I believe I've read something along these lines in one of those Tony Robbins/NLP books.

And thank you for the generous words of praise. :) I'm always struck by the seemingly ever-new discovery that writing is useful in this way!

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I'm totally with you in the camp of writing being a magical discovery process. Glad to be sharing that journey with you.

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“You’re right… you’re right. I am seeing it now. It’s everywhere.”

Thank you for sharing this, Malavika. This last sentence said a lot.

Sometimes we overlook very obvious things that are plainly visible just because we can't relate with what other person experiencing.

I'm so glad that you spoke to him and made him realise.

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<3 Haha I couldn't believe myself when I started off telling him these things - it felt surreal and part of me had an out of body experience looking at the rest of me, like I was marveling in awe that I was just shooting my mouth off like that with him. Thank you for reading Aimen, I appreciate that you stopped by. :)

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Mar 22, 2023Liked by Malavika Mudit

When I read "Schrödinger" in the title and coming from you, I already knew it was going to be another gem, and indeed it is!

It's such a powerful way of thinking, so liberating, and makes me very happy that it came full circle with your interactions with Raj and how deep you have internalized it and applied it. And also that you express it so clear and relatable with your writing.

I believe the realization of "What if… X is just a human being having a human experience?" is even more powerful and useful by being non-judgemental and forgiving, and that in turn frees the person asking so much. Will definitely keep that in mind more often!

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Aww Oscar, too kind too kind. Thank you. It's surprisingly difficult to shed my judgmental instincts, and it's humbling to realise that I am habituated to a shitty thing like that. :) I've come now to at least being aware of my judgments, knowing which ones I need to get some distance from and which ones feel more "true" to the situation and can serve me in some way, if at all.

I love the image of a judgmental thought just lying there in a box, as if it's the truth, waiting to be discovered as perhaps a lie, but you'll never really know until you ask yourself... honestly, confronting that you're maybe a shitty person for this. :D

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Definitely a work in progress that I completely understand, and trust me, I'm with you on that journey. It's deeply ingrained in us and at least we're doing something to attempt to fix it haha really like the box. analogy, will try to think about it when the situation comes.

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I loved this Malavika! Both that you spotlighted an issue many women face in the workplace and that you personally took some time to reflect on it and approach your coworker about his mindset. While of course, it'd be nice if everyone self reflected on their own, it's so helpful to future generations of women when we are able to help out. Great reflection! I find people are rarely good vs bad but sometimes lack insight into what is obvious to us.

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Mar 28, 2023·edited Mar 28, 2023Author

Thanks Michelle :) Yup, love that - people are rarely good or bad. It's surprisingly easy to fall in to the default - especially because so many women face this in the workplace - of believing people are just bad. I mean, like open your eyes, read a book, wake up and smell the coffeee.... many of us are inhibiting a totally alternate reality is what I sometimes feel like screaming, to coworkers who don't see it. :P

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Mar 21, 2023Liked by Malavika Mudit

Full of courage and insight, thank you for sharing!

"You're right. I am seeing it now." -- that's how to make allies and friends, one at a time. Kudos to you!

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Thanks for reading Helen! I appreciate you stopping by to comment as well. :)

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What an insightful essay Malavika. Thank you for having the courage to share it.

"You're right. I am seeing it now." Powerful.

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Thank you Karena! I'm glad I shared it, though I seldom feel like I'm being brave about doing these things. :)

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deletedMar 20, 2023Liked by Malavika Mudit
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Thank you Mitchell. Obviously you've seen by now that your comment here spurred two other essays, so a big debt of thanks to you for stopping by and leaving this kind thought. :)

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